Truth?

We're really not sure what to believe in all this.  It's not that it seems that anyone is lying per se, but we are finding that all of the different agencies and services and organizations that have input into C's life have differing opinions and at times agendas -- ranging from the character of his Dad, what happened before foster care, the environment of his last foster home, why his meds were increased monthly last fall, his intelligence, his routine, his potential...everything.

We find ourselves in the position of making decisions for a little boy whom we barely know, who ranges from sweet and silly to defensive and whiny to manic and frantic.  As expected, time of day plays a huge role in this, but not conclusively.  After an extremely frustrating day for his teacher and my mom (she had to watch the boys so Jason and I could attend our annual mandatory medication & behavior training last night), I find myself wondering if the good day on Wednesday even happened.

And of course, last night's training reminded us that from a "behavior intervention" perspective, we are doing absolutely everything wrong...  In truth, it was a good reminder of methods and strategies to use, but it was disheartening to feel like we've likely only been making things worse for both boys the past two weeks.

I am holding out hope that today will be a better day.  Charlie stayed on green all day yesterday, and while Mrs Babb is concerned that he has recently started daydreaming and fallen very behind in his work, we had a good talk about it and I am optimistic that he'll use the time she's set aside for him today to catch up.  C had a good day Wednesday, so I just have to hope that it will happen again...plus after yesterday Mr Philpot pulled him aside and explained to him his responsibility for his own actions and words, and that despite the fact that everyone is on his side and wants him to succeed, he ultimately has to choose to do so.

I have to hold onto these hopes or the walk into the office at 10:00 will feel more like walking the plank.

This evening I'm going to drop C off with Jason for a boy's night dinner and Charlie and I are going to a pre-scheduled playdate.  They are each jealous of the other's plans, but that seems normal.  I am hoping that the bit of a break this evening will help me power through tomorrow while Jason is fishing...that and the prospect of a birthday party for a school friend -- that will be filled with supportive, loving adults who know us, know C and want us all to succeed.

It's funny...we are clearly surrounded - on one side by "experts" who advise and instruct and on the other by friends who love and protect. Interesting that only one side seems to truly be on C's (and therefore, Jason's, Charlie's and my) side.

"Two are better than one, because they have good reward for their toil.  

For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.  

But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)