Progress

Today has not been easy and I did weep through most of the songs in church this morning, so overwhelmed and unsure of....everything.

That said, today has been  much better than yesterday, much, much, much, much.  We had a nice breakfast here at home and both boys survived the entire church service -- despite my silent weeping.

We have had more than our fair share of shouting and fighting (between the boys), and C has had a few very sad moments when the change is clearly becoming real, but they have bonded over remote control cars and paper airplanes -- and to be honest fight quite a bit more fairly than my sister and I did 30 years ago.

So we just might make it.  

In the wee hours of this morning I realized that if it decreases my stress level to forgo my LCBCC classes for the online option this semester, to allow myself to consider respite when Jason goes to Daytona and to accept the fact that after Tuesday I might be miss work for most or all of the rest of the week figuring out medication and schooling, then those things can just fall by the wayside.  If I can be loving and joyful and at rest for the three boys in my house by giving up a few commitments, the world will keep turning -- God has that part under control.  All I can control is my attitude.

And now a quick word about the Bible verses I add to each entry.  These are not meant to encourage or edify anyone reading this or even to add a theological point to my random rants...they are the promises that I rest on to get me through.  At times during this journey they have been getting me through to the next step or the next phone call.  At this point they are getting me through to bedtime.

And to be fair, I love this next song...but in all honesty, as it played in the car on our way home from an "eventful" dinner at mom's this evening, the highlighted parts are what spoke to me -- not their object.  Thankfully, God has a sense of humor, and I believe uses mine and Jason's to draw us closer together and get us through.  Cheers!

I see the work of Your Hands

Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance oh God

All that You are is so overwhelming

I hear the sound of Your Voice

All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise oh God

All that You are is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You

Captivated by Your beauty

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

I know the power of Your Cross

Forgiven and free forever You’ll be my God

All that You’ve done is so overwhelming

I delight myself in You

In the Glory of Your Presence

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

God, I run into Your arms

Unashamed because of mercy

I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You

You are Beautiful, You are Beautiful

Oh God, there is no one more Beautiful

You are Beautiful, God you are the most Beautiful

You are Wonderful, You are Wonderful

Oh God, there is no one more Wonderful

You are Wonderful, God You are the most Wonderful

You are Glorious, You are Glorious

Oh God, there is no one more Glorious

You are Glorious, God you are the most Glorious

Overwhelmed - Big Daddy Weave