Very real...very fast...

Yikes!

Pulling out of the grocery store this morning I received my first referral call from Bair -- just three hours after we found out we're approved!

Justice, the intake coordinator at Bair, called to introduce himself, discuss our perameters and discuss the referral -- in that order.  (We had known the previous intake coordinator, Jason, fairly well, but he moved on to be a fishing captain).

Prior to giving any details Justice asked me to reiterate our priorities, and I told him we're hoping for a child younger than Charlie, ready to be adopted, who can participate in our relatively active lifestyle.  He then told me that the child he has is not a fit for us, talked through some more logistics with me and that was it.  No pressure.  No guilt...at least until I hung up.

I guess I didn't really think we'd be turning down any referrals.  At first it really made me question our dedication to obeying God's will in this.

Then Jason and I looked up the "available children" on the DSS website, and based on our simple, but narrow requirements, were able to see who we think Justice called about.  "M" is a 2 year old little boy who loves to smile...but requires constant care for physical and developmental disabilities, including leg braces, various therapies and a feeding tube.

I believe that Justice is right.  "M" wouldn't be a good fit for us and Charlie.  Jason agrees.  But it's just so hard.

This isn't a fairy tale where we're going to swoop in and save the day to a dramatic song...these are real children needing homes and Charlie is a real child needing us...and we may just be in over our heads.

O, Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore.

(Psalm 131)